Nagging #1

I informed my mum that i will be travelling to malaysia 2 weeks plus ago. i told her again the evening before i travel.

Things went haywire. In a short 5 seconds (or maybe even faster), she turned from being slightly happy (i wanted to spend time with my parents today, so i left work way earlier plus before i left the country) into a wrecking state of mind. Like a bulldozer that weaved through obstacles with ease, she unleashed her nagging mode in full speed.

She would accused all sorts of imaginations to back her idea up. Eg: she would say that my gf strayed me off. Ok so what's up with her, one may ask (as if there is someone that is listening to me)

She wanted me to be a courier (yet again) to bring some accessories to my cousin who is due to give birth in few months time. My gf and i hate the idea of meeting my cousin and my aunt. We don't like her as i feel both of them are fake.

Eg: my aunt had a curry power that long wanted to pass to my mum. I happened to be in Malaysia when my aunt brought it up to my mum whom i was directed to pick this curry power up from my mum. However, i was there for my gf's major domestic problem which we didn't have the time to go down.

Upon returning back, my gf and i got into a very heavy scolding by her (I got the most of it). A couple of weeks later, that cousin of mine came over to singapore for holidaying but didn't drop by to visit her god-ma which is my mum. When i know of my cousin that came to sg from my mum i challenged her, asking my mum

• Why didn't you ask my cousin to bring the powder to you?

• Did you ask my aunt why didn't she ask my cousin to bring the powder to her?

Anyway, back to it. I told her can't you see we are being used? Things that trouble us, my aunt would bring a fuss out of it to my mum which in turn will scold us for being lazy, lack of family committment, etc. She wouldn't just listen. So back to today's incident, that's the reason why i refused to help my mum to be both of their courier.

It was so much of an effort leaving office on time, spending abit of time with them before i left for holiday, but to get shot down by her. I couldn't take her verbal abuse and i left house to take myself off and away from her. It's 7.46 pm now. And i find it a phobia to go home so early where she hasn't sleep yet. Importantly. I do not know how to deal with her.

Nagging session

I'm going to start record entry on the times of nagging session i have versus the moment i have time with my mum around.

This is the trend - out of the 3 times we are in the same space, there will be an out-of-sudden with no nagging session that is directed at me for apparent no reason. Yet she could somehow created a link to why the nagging was essential (from her point of view).

Why record? Simple. I have the idea and life outlook that my life are always being scolded and scolded. Yes, i have now an intention to just commit suicide and with each time the idea arises, the stronger the urge to go to the top storey of the building and to 'drop' myself down, because i cannot take her kind of nagging any more.

My work life sucks. My personal life was affected because of the load and long working hours. My partner can be stubborn some times and her temper is near to hell-like.

Seriously, why am i in this state?

PS: there were countless of her lame nagging occured before i start writing abt such experiences.