unjustifiable, unfair and unstable MOTHER!!!

oh fuck.. i wanna scold AND FUCK god for giving such a mother to me! watever u all wanna say, i'm unfilial.. I DUN GIVE A DAMN..

today is eve of CNY and i thought she will be busy.. but i wanted to swim on today.. SO, i asked her yesterday whether she needs help for today, when will she be worshipping our ancestors. she said.. evening then worship, if u wanna go out during the day, just go..

-ok-

i went swimming, then to lot one to see my sun nu and nu er.. and had my foot just stepped into the house...!@#$%^&*() was heard from here...

she accused and said to me : WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE ALL NEED HELP TO CLEAN? ccb i was so fuck up with this comment! and i talked back: didn't i ask you yesteryday u need help or not and didn't u say just go out?! and she keep quiet!

Then she kept nagging all the way. ARGH! spring cleaning kitchen and toilet.. and i wanted to tell her, didn't she just do it just LAST WEEK?! why do again in less than 1 month..

just before we wanted to have our lunch (she was having her lunch by herself), she kept nagging and nagging and said we didn't do this and that.. ok so we do those thing she instructed (coz if we didn't do as what she ORDERED immediately, we would simply 'die' very very terribly, [in which i choose to die]).. but shortly later, she said: come eat first later than do... then after that.. no one replied to her because we were doing her stuff, then she raised her voice up and said if u all not coming to eat immeidately, i'm going to flare up.

FUCK. coz u know why? Coz she can take knife and threaten to kill herself, etc. do u think we want that on eve of CNY?

so we LPPL lor, lunch with her and then she commented "dun make me so man zhang (fustrated), can or not? ccb.. i talked back and said : look who is man zhang now. Strangely she keep quiet.. __

then never mind... after that.. ironing of clothes. and she ordered me to iron my stuff.. and i was like fucking hell.. now only what day.. so fast iron my SPF uniform for fuck. i've got 2 more spare, why stress urself to iron all these? no wonder she got depression. ok lor.. then i quickly iron shirts and pants and go back..

i think i've changed a lot since sec sch in terms of my temper. and i realised in these few months that i flare up easily. i think, thanks to my mother, caused me to this state. Every comments were meant for me which is unjustifiable, unfair. She said / scolded what she thinks she is right.

eg: she likes to nag at me over something which she ASSUMES i dun know how to do. then when i did it right, she surprisingly said : "eh, u know how to do ah?" thanks ah

this caused me to remember what my mom's ex-babysitter's mom said:
"your mother very strange, she always say she is a democratic person, but in the end, she is the one who controls the decision." and yes this is right. i supported what she said.

i just wanna find one or two person whom i wanna confined. like penelope is one of them. But i think i should give them a piece of mind. coz no one likes to hear such thing from their friend. but this kind of thing, unstable mind, unjustifiable comments and unfair scoldings, i really can't take it if i keep to my heart and therefore i decided to pour it out here. well.. scold me unfilial if anyone wants. i'm really tired of her stuff and hopefully anyone out there can take me away from her. i'm sick of her. As she is always at home everyday, i dread upon the idea of returning home from outing/work/camp, etc..

if u all say, u can go out mah.. guess what, no problem for going out, but my father (under the pressure of the Dictator Mother), will call me and asked me where am i, what time am i going to back? oh.. bullshit.. look i'm 22, a guy, with nothing to lose by going out. and what the fuck are they concerning me about? they called me quite a number of times, asking the same qns, and wanted me to go home early every time i went out. this kind of thing relates to how much they distrust you when u were outside. they said "u dun anyhow go find ayam(chicken in malay, aka prostitute) argh!! my dick is for my wife only hor. i should say is my mother rather than my father who is overly-unncessary concerning.

so anyone who read this, and if u all know u got depression, pls hor.. go and treat urself, and i appealed to u all do not drag this. as it would not just only hurt urself, it also hurt/tramatize ur other partner, ur children, etc.. (like what i am feeling now)

i wanted to call Sun Tian over for reunion dinner (coz his family is over at china) and luckily i didn't.

i really dun know what to say about my mother.